Author Archives: therealtamara

For an opinionated woman such as I, blogging is an excellent outlet. This is one of many fori that I use to bloviate. Enjoy! Comment on my commentary.

Daylight

There is no rush to get up.
Shapes emerge as I gather
The light coming in from my
Window. Dawn is a revelation
It is that, revelatory, by nature.
The gathering daylight reveals
What every new dawn reveals-
The surprise and delight of the
Beauty that is in the world and
Ready to greet me as I gather
The light as it emerges. Dawn

When reptiles ruled

Stumbling over the land, footfalls
Rumbling with the discontent of
Evolution, large animals, their blood
Chilled for life on a tropical planet
Tumbling through history as 
Eons roar through their veins,
Leaving their mark in museums
And in books, in archaeological 
Digs, or our imaginations, out of
Our memories. They were never our
Neighbors, pets or prey nor we
Theirs, their romp through our
Backyards and Jurassic Parks is
The stuff of fiction and movies.
Their tread startling the mire and
Mud, they walk the planet only in
The imagings of small boys or
Grown fantaists who see them a
Loud and menacing presence, as
If reclaiming their past can join it
To ours

Wordle song

Trope quote hotel
Round pound route
Works jerks murky
Fiver pleas lette..
Uhohh, fiver pleas
It'ssa gaame ooovf trans
Forma tions (longA) aannd
Realy there isn'ta reasn toooo
Cheat. Fiver pleas. Start. Finis
Frond found. Tidal 
Trial. Wring wrung
Fiver river. Brews
Trees. Clues blues
Pound mound. Pleas
Lease. Downy found

Hints of darkness

The air smells of the overwrought 
Pasta she'd made last.night, heavy
Like the fevered pieces of seasoned
Gnocchi, overcooked to a hard and
Unyielding patch. The scent is a mix
Of sweet and exotic, almost nice. It Is an aroma at once pleasant and 
Dark. It's clingy like the night that 
Awoke her, insistant, incessant, full
Of its own life, yet lurking in corners

Dear one,

My heart is constant
Even as the weather
Blows hot and cold, as
Moody as any feckless
Lover, changeable as
A young man's fancy 
In the spring, faithless
As it rummages in my
Wardrobe, tugging at
Wintry coverings one
Day, pulling out lighter
Garb the next, windy
Or ill-tempered, warm
And endearing on an
Afternoon with hope
And promises. I hold
Steadfast, unmoving
In the shifting storms,
My heart full of love
And memories

Revisit

Memories of you are
Kicking around in
My thoughts, revisiting
The places we loved,
Where we were in love,
Where you and I, in love,
Walked, where we sat, we
Were everything to each
Other, where we were in
Love, lovers. Sweetheart,
Whereever I am, I relive
The us of us, the you and
Me of yesterday and today
We are still you-and-me,
In love and loving. I am
Always

Thinking of you

Grieving

There are so many words but
I have only used loss; I've only
Said "I'm mourning" or "I mourn"
I have said "I miss you" and I've
Mentioned that as I missed you,
You were also missing. I knew
You were lost and losing little
Bits of yourself over time which
I noticed you had lost. A whole
Concept, a man-made construct
Time was lost to you. This not
Being able to tell time caused 
A consternation. You did ask
After the time a lot. "What time
Is it?" A question that came at
Minutes apart. You wanted to
Know, to understand but you no
Longer had the sense of it. Time
Was already really irrelevant and
Lost. I knew I was grieving you 
[There I have said it.] I still had 
Little bits of you but I mourned,
Bereft of the partner who would
Know how to fix it. Whatever it
Might be. The companion who
Did things, set the clocks back 
Or forward, the lover who would
Recognize my feelings, the friend
Who would console when I was
Sad. I grieved alone. Sad alone. I rejoiced alone. You were here and we did laugh and chat together. Your chitchat could be so very Endearing. Now you are truly lost
To me but not lost in confusion   Lost. Gone. I can begin mourning 
Properly, my grief made real by
Your timely departure. You were
Able to pick your moment, time
Your passing perfectly. I have a
New concept of time now too, a
Time when a vibrant loving man 
Left me with memories, a time 
When that man, my man began 
His long fail into confusion, and
That time when I journeyed with
Him in sickness 'til death did us
Part and I was left bereft but with
Memories of his strength, of him.
Memories of his generosity and
His love and his care. I grieve his
Loss. I mourn your passing but
I rejoice in all our time together.
It was our time. We used it well.
Bereavement, grief, has its time
Now. Memories of all our time 
Fill my time now as I grieve you
And miss us. As I mourn our time

In March, after you’re gone

I mourn you now as the
Rites of your passing let
Me, permit me to mourn
You, completely, a little
At a time. Mourning, it's
A process, I say, a little at
A time but in all this time
I have mourned you, not
Completely but a little at
A time as I lost you, not
Completely, but a little at
A time. All this time when
You were still here yet not
Completely you, I mourned
You, losing you as I did, a
Little at a time. I mourned
Through laughter and tears
That never completely fall
As you slipped away, lost
To me, lost to yourself, you
Are gone now, passed from
This realm, no longer lost,
As you were when first I
Mourned you, yet lost to
Me. I will mourn you. Now

Two points

Let me be agnostic, a
Fence sitter, hanging
Between two points of
Light- science, tangible
Things, and spiritual, a
Realm of emotion and
Conjecture. Ok when it
Is at its best, science is
Conjecture, too. What if
Science asks. Those in
The spiritual camp, the
Religious, mostly only
Trade in answers, in the
Certainty of the hereafter.
Surety is still conjecture.
You never know what it
Is that awaits you. I am
On the fence, agnostic
Questioning not echoing
Answers. In spirit, I am
All believing and also so
Doubtful of what I know
Or don't know. Let me be
Agnostic, on the fence